A vision of the future…

Thoughts?  Too much?  Not enough?  Probable?  Improbable?

Killer design, either way (produced by Oh, Hello….and, yes, Microsoft).

A moment of vulnerability

I’m not very good at this. I can be truly vulnerable with my fiancée, and that’s about it. And even that’s only at my times of greatest brokenness.
This world we live in today– it does things to you. When given the opportunity to make yourself heard at any moment– and we have that ability now– you fall into the trap of molding your voice to an audience. It’s salesmanship, when you think about it.

We have enough salespeople.

While the blogs and the facebooks and the twitters and the whatevers can provide opportunities for good, I often fall into the trap, consciously or not, of using these to bolster my own self-image– to make myself seem cooler, more spiritual, more Christian, or more wise than the reality of my private moments and thoughts.

In those private thoughts, I am very simply a constantly confused young man hoping to stumble into some revelation of who I am and who God is and what this world is. But, I have to admit, I haven’t stumbled into anything like that yet.

So, in the interim, I made some very nice Taylor Cox costumes to wear everyday. Taylor Cox the designer. Taylor Cox the wannabe theologian. Taylor Cox the relaxed, break-up-tense-moments-with-humor guy. And I would wear these costumes confidently. But then I would go to bed, often afraid, lonely, and unsure of who I really was.

It’s a bit of a bleak picture, I know. And it wasn’t so dramatic or sad as it may sound. Just empty.

My Lenten promise to God was to proactively become the person God wanted me to be. I soon discovered that, in order for that long process to being, some breaking needed to happen. I needed to break some conventions, some assumptions, and some of my protective armor. I was afraid that, underneath, I would be less than I wanted to be; or, above, that God wouldn’t be who I wanted God to be.

During this release, I realized that I had almost completely lost touch with the spiritual world. I only saw God in the physical and ideological– the charity of people, or the power of truth and goodness. I sought these out and thought, “these are godly things,” and that was the extent of my spirituality or connectedness to God.

I was keeping God at a safe distance.

I don’t always know what to think about the Holy Spirit or Heaven or the presence of a spiritual realm beyond what my logic-obsessed eyes can see. But I’ve recently been reminded that I most closely identify with God as Creator. And here’s the thing about creators: they don’t stop. They can’t stop.
It’s a nice-sounding truth that I talked about in papers and Bible studies. But I wasn’t seeking that reality in my own life and the world around me. Yet I truly believe that God is constantly creating, and beyond that, that Creation itself is entirely intertwined with God. I’m scared of the imperfections and the mysteries and the questions. There are some things that I just can’t reconcile with right now, and I may not be able to for a very long time. But it’s there, even when I ignore it.

And yet, these heady questions of spirituality and theology weren’t my real problem.

I forgot that God loved me.

I felt like God didn’t accept my questions and wandering. I felt like God must have been frustrated with my lack of progress and faith. God’s love rarely entered my mind. And that’s the most surefire way to feel alone, to feel disconnected from God. Again– God at a safe distance.

The love of God– it sounds so simple, so childish. We get in trouble when we wire ourselves to only accept the complicated, intelligent-sounding answers. And don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of complicated issues out there.

But without love, it’s all empty.

I just wanted to share that with all of you today.

Incoherent Thoughts (and outcoherent ones, too)

Do you ever feel distracted when you don’t really even have any distractions?  That’s me.  I’m distracted, and not necessarily by something.  Just distracted.  My mind has been blank way too often recently.  Even when I have an idea– some design, something to write, something to do– it doesn’t happen a lot, unless I have some external motivation to do so (i.e. deadlines).  This realization is just yet another to add onto the pile of realizations and reasons that I’ve been losing myself and my voice lately.

I’ve been working, but not doing or being.  Kind of machine-like.  So if anyone were to tell me right now, “man, you’re a machine,” I’m not going to take that as a compliment.

Why is that a compliment, anyways?  Who would rather be a machine?

Regretfully, I’m not always a very disciplined person, so the season of Lent is a strange one for me.  Yes, I’m a Baptist, but I think Lent is awesome.  You know, in that somber, self-sacrificial sort of way…

I’m not sure why Lent is so frowned-upon across Protestantism.  I think it may have to do with some misplaced association between Christian ritual and the Law (in the Hebrew/Pauline sense).  Some say that Christ has set us free from such things.  I think where we miss the point is in our understanding of just what this “freedom in Christ” means.  Is this freedom to indulge completely and consistently in our desires?  Or is this freedom from the desires that tie us down?  I think that one of the prisons that Christ can save us from is this feeling that our daily routine and preferred lifestyle is of utmost importance.  I find myself in that prison.  But freedom in Christ is a higher calling, and one that requires sacrifice and discipline.

The ritual of Lent, practiced sincerely by a community, can be a wonderfully powerful thing.  We’re not often strong enough to follow this path of sacrifice alone.  And it certainly doesn’t hurt to block out these forty days, if only to prepare our too-stagnant hearts and minds for the Easter season.

———————–(This is a line to separate serious thoughts from non-serious thoughts.)

I still haven’t seen Slumdog Millionaire.  I’m going to have an Oscar rental festival once these movies hit stores.  I’m happy that Slumdog, a film with no Hollywood Royalty attached to it, got so much love.  I’m also happy that an uplifting movie took home the gold– recently, “happiness” has not translated into Oscar success.

It’s also time to say farewell, as my favorite movie rolls off into that CG sunset.  WALL-E received more nominations than any other animated film ever (six), but still was victim to the apparently strong anti-animation inclination in the Academy.  It didn’t get the Best Picture nod that it deserved (which would have been a victory for animation artists everywhere), and got snubbed big time in losing both the Sound Design and Sound Mixing categories.

WALL-E was a truly unique work of art, and I’m sad to see it go.  I’m hoping that Up can deliver on the already massive pre-screening hype it’s been building up in the last few weeks.

———————–

I’ve been pulling double-duty the last couple of weeks (and will be for at least one week more), as I’ve been freelancing for North Point Community Church again.  They sent a couple of title package jobs (my favorites) my way.  Not even my own family has seen either of these, so I thought I would post them.

(If the videos don’t pop up, just go to my vimeo page.

Also, the new Concoxions home page is up.  And it’s got Flash in it!  Ok, it’s just a simple looping slideshow, but I’m pretty pumped about even that.

I’ve starting to work on some ideas for the Chillipepper promo, and I really want to see if I can throw in some basic 3D motion graphics this time.  It’ll be a great learning experience.  I did this two-second test today:

(You can see an HD version if you click “HD is off”)

And finally…a model of a glass of water that I made today.  Just for fun.

Possibilities

Think of 20 years from now.  Better yet, think of 20 years ago, then think of 20 years from now.

It’s hard to believe how different the world is going to be.  

We’ll look back at the way we communicated, the way we got around, the way we wore our hair, and laugh at how quaint it all was.

I see mutton chops making a comeback.

And though we make think of the church as timeless, it does the same thing.  The church, popular theology, worship…these were all very different animals twenty years ago.  

So what do you think it will look like in twenty years?  Seriously, I’d like your opinion.

We’re all shaped by context, context, context, so each of our respective visions will only be as wide-reaching as our own worldview.  And that’s okay.  We don’t all have to start at the same place to reach another.  

A few thoughts from my limited perspective:

-I think “liturgical church” and “contemporary church”– often seen as opposites– are going to start to converge.  This is actually already happening, especially in the emergent movement.  A lot of 20 and 30-somethings (the obvious target group for jeans-wearing rock concert community churches) are actually being found in traditional-style churches these days.  I find myself in somewhat of the same boat…while I once would have run to a good contemporary church, I now find myself strongly drawn to the meaningful ritual, symbolism, and thoroughness of liturgy.  There’s no reason why the elements of either should be exclusive from one another.  

(And it would be nice to find a community church that was solid and thoughtful theologically.  I’m not saying they’re not out there…I just would like to find one personally.  If you think you’ve got one, please share.)

-I think, and I hope, that the mission of the church will become more obviously holistic and outward.  This isn’t a new thing, it’s just been a while since we could honestly claim that as our identity.  When the mission of many protestant churches in particular became solely focused on “drive-thru conversions”, we forgot so much of our purpose.  In the last few years, this trend has been changing, though not without some growing pains.  Many, many churches are involved in their communities and serving for the sake of love, and it’s a good thing, too.  The majority of the world had forgotten that we’d cared.  

-With the rise of Universalism, Relativism, and a number of sincere Christians asking some questions, I think the dialogue regarding the nature of salvation theology is going to become more prominent.  That could be messy, but it’s a conversation that I’m always very interested in.

-A house church mentality will take hold in a lot of larger churches.  Large group meetings won’t go away, but I think it’ll be less “superstar preacher and followers” and more of a wide-reaching organic system with many parts and many roles.  Organic.  Like a body.  Of Christ.  Anyways, I think this will be most apparent when many small groups move from being more than just Sunday School and into the realm of community service/outreach, like little churches.  I also think that people will increasingly find similar Christian small group communities outside of their own church.

-I’m crossing my fingers on this one: cross-church and cross-denomination service.  If the day comes where we start seeing Southern Baptists and Catholics doing projects together, I may honestly cry.

I realize that these thoughts are all very obvious and I’m not really making any daring predictions here.  But I hope I at least helped stir some creative juices.  So what do you think?  Predictions?  Concerns?  Rebuttals?

Daily_Blog: 1/14

I’ve gotten to a point where there is so much I want to write, so much I want to express, that somehow welding all of these thoughts into some cohesive yet barely meaningful blog post is virtually impossible.  

So I’m not really going to try.  My fingers are just going to move for a while.

I’m in the midst of a creative renaissance, yet my one legitimate shot at using whatever skill I have professionally (at least for now) is gone.  This was expected, but still a little bit of a downer.  I have a lot of projects on my plate right now, and I’m even doing some further exploration during my “down time” (I can’t get enough of the world 3-D modeling and its infinite possibilities, even at just the demo level…perhaps associated with my PIXAR addiction…).  I’m very nearly done with a unique Seesalt promotional video– definitely unlike any we’ve ever done– and I’ve spent an exhausting two days throwing it together, driven by the opportunity to actually create rather than just quilt together redundant highlight video shots.  I have roughly five more videos to get done before Chillipepper next Friday, I’m frankly worried that I won’t have the same excited drive to pull me through those.  But pull through I must.

I just typed a long paragraph on the the dichotomy between the creative work that drives me and the more-prevalent, busy work that is somewhat soul-crushing.  Then I deleted it.  Keep moving, fingers.

So, seminary.  Why?  Sometimes it feels like I’m going just because I don’t know where else to go.  Other times I feel that this is a confirmed calling and a real opportunity.  I’m hoping for a bit more revelation and guidance than that, and soon.  I don’t want to not go and realize I missed a great chance to dive deeper into something I already find very fulfilling.  However, I also don’t want to get there and realize that I wasn’t ready to dive that deep, or that often.  I know that I’m passionate about theological education.  Theological education, in this “Christian nation” is lousy.  No, make that Lousy.  That’s right: capital-L and italics.  If I have the opportunity to spend the rest of my life encouraging students/people to think very seriously about matters of faith, religion, and theology, I would be very grateful.  I just don’t know yet if graduate school and eventually the classroom is where I’m supposed to do that.  I probably will never know for sure.    But I do know that I want to do something.  

Jake Delhomme played lousily on Saturday.  I’m normally in your camp, Jake, but I have to call it like I see it.  

At the McAfee preview weekend, one of the topics that my peer/faculty panel discussed was the blurring of divisions and the elimination of labels.  ”Liberal Christian” and “Conservative Christian” (or just “Liberal” and “Conservative”) simply don’t work anymore, and they never should have.  A person cannot be defined by our perception of where they may fall on some theological or political spectrum.  It’s an excuse to not get to know someone for what they really think (about any matter; not just, say, homosexuality).  I could rant so much more about this, and I may one day, but for now I simply ask: do your best to never use these labels in your everyday conversation.  I still find myself doing it, just because it’s easy.  But it doesn’t help.  

The first one hundred pages or so of Rob Bell’s Jesus Wants to Save Christians are very interesting.  I don’t know about the other pages yet.  Some may call it revisionist history, but I at least applaud Bell for refusing to accept Sunday School interpretations of the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament, recognizing that Solomon was an utter failure as a King, for example (he then goes on to claim that Jesus fits the bill as the “true” son of David).  It’s definitely thought-provoking.  American Nationalists may want to steer clear, though.

Actually, go ahead and read it.

Also (completely unrelated), go to www.capacity.tv and check out the new branding job that Capacity did for Cartoon Network.  The Capacity folks are truly, truly, truly talented motion designers, and if you watch TV, you’ve undoubtedly seen a ton of their stuff (NBC, NFL Network, and about a dozen other stations).  I first found out about Capacity when they were profiled in an old issue of Relevant Magazine, and have kept an eye on them since.  On their website, be sure to check out “Planted,” an animated short based on the Parable of the Sower.  It’s neat stuff.

If you made it this far, you are a patient, patient person.

Sleep-blogging

I should be in bed.  I have a killer migraine and took Tylenol PM over an hour ago.  Anyways, there’s been a lot going on lately.  

The new Concoxions website is finally up.  After weeks of being convinced that I was in no form or fashion suited to do web design, it just sort of materialized.  It was exhausting…after a few days of working with even the most primitive HTML and CSS coding, I’m beat.  I couldn’t really go all out here, and you can’t expect to dig up gold your first time out.  So I’m really thinking of this as a merely a 1.0, with 2.0 coming with a big update after Chillipepper.  Chillipepper is the only branch of the website that also got a facelift, and the others need to follow soon.  Joy?

I’m not convinced that I should be a designer.  At least, in my current life situation, I’m just not growing that much artistically, and I’m struggling mightily to be perfectly honest.  I enjoy the practice of design and am fascinated by the communication possibilities, and I really would miss it if I gave it up.  My attitude just isn’t following through right now.  

Segue: I’m applying to seminary for next school year.  That’s a part of my life that I have given up and do miss.  The art of theological conversation was planted deep within my soul over the last four years, and it hasn’t been fed.  My dissatisfaction with this has led me to consider over the past few weeks that some part of me is supposed to continue this conversation on a serious level.  Therefore, rapid-fire style, I’ve arranged to apply to McAfee School of Theology (a branch of Mercer University) for next school year.  Tiffany had already applied to McAfee, as seminary has been in her plans for close to two years now.  So we may be that married couple.  Like the Nelsons.  She’ll probably end up doing something pastoral and communally-edifying, and I’ll question for years whether or not I’m supposed to bite the bullet and try for a Ph.D. so I can be the sandal-wearing ministerial-yet-challenging professor/chaplain I’ve always dreamt of being.  That would be great.  Or God could end up leading me into something completely different.

Like design.

I’m ready for this election to be over.  I’ve gone from being annoyed to downright terrified at the state of public discourse in this nation.  As much as both candidates speak about reaching across aisles, I doubt there’s been a moment in my lifetime in which this country has been more polarized.  And I’ve been falling into that trap, too.  There’s been a lot of anger and hate thrown around, and you start taking it personally, even though there is absolutely no reason to.  I have a pretty firm grasp on who I’m voting for and have probably spent to much time researching the issues important to me (in order: tax structure, economy, infrastructure, health care…all of which are completely linked).  The candidate not receiving my vote is a man I used to have a lot of respect for, and I probably will learn to respect him again once this circus is over, whether he is president or not.  This election has turned both of these honorable men into something regrettable, and hopefully they and their respective parties will see that one day.  

I’m not holding my breath for the parties.

Adobe CS4 is shipping but Adobe REFUSES to put up the trials along with it.  I check their site probably 5 times a day hoping I can get my hands on some integrated design goodness.  If my artistic side is struggling, maybe my nerdy side can provide the proper motivation.

If anyone has read Rob Bell’s Jesus Wants to Save Christians, let me know what you think.  And then let me borrow it.  Please?

The new MacBooks look slick.  The Pro’s video card makes me a little envious, and the plain-old MacBook has vastly improved innards over the previous generation…but what’s with the shaft of Firewire?  That is borderline unforgivable right now; Firewire is still very much needed.  I think we need to wait a couple more years before we “move on.”  So my reliable year-old MB Pro suits me fine, terrible battery and all.

Tylenol PM kicking in.  Stream of consciousness fading.  Goodnight.

Preach it, Don…

“By ignorance I mean I think there is a level of maturity that’s hard to achieve by the media age that we live in. I think what happens is that in order to sell advertising, talking heads, 24/7 news channels have to create a lot of tension because tension is interesting. And so what we do is we try to create polar-opposite opinions and then want them to clash. So you’re either Republican or Democrat, and those are binary opposites. There is no middle ground. There’s no in-between, because that’s not interesting. What happens is people aren’t savvy to that—they fall into that. They start believing the message that that’s the way the world is divided. And they pick a side and defend it very passionately without realizing their whole mindset has been manipulated by a machine that sells advertising. But the truth doesn’t work that way. The truth isn’t that black and white. The truth isn’t that opinionated—and not only that, but we don’t really know all sides of an argument. We need to decide the truth isn’t that polarized. I think I was addressing that. I think what was remarkable about the people we met is that they were like that. They were more objective.”

Read the rest of Relevant Magazine’s interview with the now-buff Donald Miller…